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Saturday, June 2, 2018

TRIGGERED

I'm over people cancelling people and companies. We need to all have our own opinions on things. Don't let other people tell you how you should feel about something. If a topic interests you, do 10 minutes of investigating and I guarantee you, you'll find out more than you did from some strangers instagram post saying "Kanye is a racist, everybody hate him for the next week" 


Do I disagree with how swiftly Roseanne was cancelled, absolutely not. But, did I stop buying my favorite drink (albeit too expensive and packed with calories) from Starbucks? No! The folks at my local Starbucks make my family and I feel welcome, always. I have developed connections with the employees that have spilled outside the faux mahogany wooden walls where we meet 2-3 times a week. I think that we are so damaged and sensitive from being historically mistreated that it can blur our judgement on certain situations. Here's hoping I don't get cancelled for expressing my view.

In the last few years of my life, I have found myself slipping into a dangerous place of fingerpointing and judging. Me! The girl who in her teens made a promise to react to racism by educating every person that said something offensive out of ignorance not anger. The young woman who spent her twenties debating with family and friends about the goodness of people, constantly correcting everyone when they painted a whole race, gender, or political party with the same brush. Even in my 30's, I soldiered on, spreading flower petals over hate, giving second chances at every turn.  

Lately, I find myself looking for someone to make a mistake and say something to offend me. I'm asking my son questions about situations that in no way have anything to do with racism or hate. Making comments loud enough for people to know I'm "woke" but soft enough to squash the guilt I feel by not being true to myself. In my forties, I have too many years behind me to ignore the differences in us as people.  I am raising an African American male who needs to know the right way to handle situations that his friends will undoubtedly never have to deal with.  He will continue to face roadblocks and challenges, he will also laugh a lot and be surrounded by love and light. Yes, there are awful, hateful people in this world. Sadly, I can never watch another episode of The Cosby Show, but I can't promise you that I won't listen to Kanye's music ever again. Google the whole interview.

I owe it to my son to offer the balance that my parents gave me. Everyone has a story, listen before you judge. 



Also...I STILL LIKE H & M. Damn them for making affordable chic clothing. When are we allowed to shop there again?

Thanks for reading,

Nikki

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Thursday, April 26, 2018

DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT?

So, my husband has been seeing a "life coach" (for lack of a better way to describe her talent) for 20 years. He adores her and has been trying to connect us for years. If you know me, you know about this weird thing that I do, that is when someone I love insists on me doing something, I resist. Even when I know it's in my best interest.  If I do end up doing whatever it is they want me to do, I have to do it on my own terms. In other words, I wait until I'm good and ready
and then begrudgingly do it.

Well, I was finally ready to see Barbara, the life coach.  Who really is more of a happiness wrangler than a life coach (ooh, happiness wrangler, that's good), and she asked all of us in the group to think about what we REALLY what we want in this life. This question has haunted me my entire life guys. I feel as though, for most people, the answer is and has always been clear. Not for me.  In my teens, I would just say "I don't know!" with the joyful ignorance of a girl who had the world in her hands.  In my 20's, when I had a damn near anxiety attack every time the question was asked, I came up with an answer that worked for me, and usually shut up whoever was asking.

Everyone ever: "What do you want in life"?
Me: "Happiness"

And for years, it worked. Until now.

I've been blogging for 10 years, when I'm not blogging, I'm painting, when I'm not painting, I'm sketching, when I'm not sketching, I'm taking photographs, when I'm not...you get it, I digress.

Here in L.A. I have fine tuned my gift of networking by going solo to a few blogger events.  I'm pretty good at getting to know what everyone else is all about, but there is zero confidence behind my story when the tables are turned. Then this morning, as I was getting ready for work, I listened to an interview with two of my favorite bloggers. They both have seen success with all aspects of their businesses and the number one piece of advice from them was to "stay true to yourself." And just like that, I finally realized what I want from my life. EVERYTHING. I want to inspire people to do whatever their heart desires, at ANY AGE.

At almost 49, I am inspiring both young and mature people to do what they want. I've always loved fashion and art and wanted to do anything that marries the two together. I just didn't think I could. I want you to know that I am out on the corner with my tri-pod on my 15 minute breaks taking (what I think are) pretty cool pics and meeting all types of people who are inspired by them in some way or the other.

I ALSO:

Repeatedly wear the same items in my closet, styled differently.

Don't own a double G gucci belt.

Share with my followers when I am uninspired, bloated, and or worried that I am going to embarrass my son with each post I make.

I say all of this to say this. We literally only get one shot. Yes y'all, this is where I'm at today, quoting Eminem. Do you not miss your chance to blow,  this opportunity comes once in a lifetime.

Here's the catch, I can't guarantee your going to make any money following your heart. That part I haven't mastered yet.  But hey,  I'm the best dang 48 year old model/artist/haiku poet on my block.



Thanks for reading,

Nikki Pin It