MY EGO TOOK A BACKSEAT

Have you ever had issues with accepting help from others? I have. In hindsight, I'm sure I've lost friends and definitely a couple of great opportunities because of it. I had a good friend (we'll call her Nelly)  who always offered to pay for dinner, drinks, cab fare, you name it, Nelly paid for it. We literally would argue over the bill until the surrounding tables would start to look. I would get distracted in a stare down with a random onlooker and Nelly would slip her card to the server. Clearly, Nelly was a kind and generous friend who suffered from the same issues as me when it came to accepting help of any kind.

Guys, 20 something Nikki was not the sharpest knife in the drawer. If I could go back in time, I would graciously accept EVERY SINGLE TIME.  Reciprocation is the key.

When I moved to another country with the family, we started from scratch. Of course, we packed and boxed up all the necessities. Most of the boxes were full of toys that we desperately hoped would soften the blow of a whole new world to our 5 year old son. The rest of the boxes were clothes, most of which helped the neighbors identify us as being "not from around here". We needed furniture, cutlery, oh and a refrigerator! Did you know that here in Los Angeles, the apartments don't come with a fridge?! I'll let that sink in while I finish this lesson.  We bought a bed and TV from the guy who was currently renting our first place, he needed the money, and we needed basic cable. If you're stuck on the fact that we bought a used bed, you should be. It was gross, and was on the curb the same night we bought it.

We needed help. I had to stop saying "No really, we're good!" and start saying "Yes, that would be so helpful!" I literally thought I was going to die, from being helped. Instead, I was forced to put my ego and pride in check. I became vulnerable and opportunities showed up left and right. I learned to listen to friends and family and what was important to them. And THAT is how I gave back. Most people want to spend quality time, some people appreciate good solid advice, and all of us don't want to be alone.

OK, here's the take away. We all have instinct. If you have issues with accepting gifts or a helping hand, tune in to your instinct. It will always let you know if the person offering has an ulterior motive or if they just want to make you happy. I'm leaving a few photos here, all with items that were gifted to me in the last few years. Thanks to our friends and family who have always wanted to lift us up.  And thank you to my tribe (old and new) who have always wanted to see me happy. I'm looking at you Nelly.

Thanks for reading,
Nikki

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