HOW CAN I HELP?

Something happened yesterday that sent me into a downward spiral. I was at work having an average day when I saw one of my favorite customers trying to get through the door with her 18 month old baby in his stroller. We have a lot of parents with strollers shopping daily, and although any mom can manage a door, a stroller,  a thousand bags of groceries, and a ringing cell phone simultaneously, my girl was struggling a bit. Now, the back story is, about 3 minutes before, a woman entered the store with a gift box in her hand and the need for attention in her voice. 

The front door swung open: "Hello! I need help! You can help me? You can help me!" 

The woman, let's call her "Rudina", approached me with a panicked tone. 

Me: "Sure! How can I help?" In my head there is another dialogue completely.

Me- in my head: (major eye roll) Let me guess, you're late, you're in a rush, you're the queen of the world and you need me, your humble servant, to fix everything?"

Rudina: "I need an envelope and I need you to punch a hole in it and attach it with string!"

Me- in my head: "No."

Me actually: "Let me show you what we have, I can let you borrow a hole punch and if you'd like to attach it, we have ribbon for sale."

Her: "I just need one envelope and some string? Can't I just buy one envelope and some string?!" 

Me: "Let me show you what we have."

I escorted her to the envelopes and showed her ribbon.

Rudina: "Perfect! I just have to go get something from my car!! I'll be right back! I'm in such a hurry!"

Think I'm over using exclamation marks in this story? I'm not, her situation was URGENT guys. She flew out of the store and I had that feeling in my pit of my stomach. I immediately checked the time to see how long I had before it was time to clock out.  Dang it, an hour and a half left to go. 

Me, in my head: "You got this girl, you are so fortunate to have a job, you like the people you work with, heck you even crafted today! Life is good. Don't complain, don't complain, don't complain."

When I looked up from the clock I saw my customer Dana at the door and smiled as I approached her to help.

Me- in my head: "See? Everything's fine! This lovely person and her adorable child are going to make you feel great about life."

And then,  Rudina came up behind them, put one hand on the stroller and STEPPED OVER IT.  Yes, stepped over the adorable 18 month old baby, with the mother holding the door open, struggling to enter....

Sorry, I'm back, I literally just sat back on the sofa and relived the moment. Dana and I stared at each other with our mouths open for what seemed like 15 minutes. I opened the door, and Dana came all the way through and headed straight for Rudina to let her know how incredibly rude she was.  

Rudina replied "I'm in such a rush!"

Dana: "I don't care how much of a hurry you are in! You just saw that I needed help and then stepped over my child. You had to put your hand ON the stroller to get by!!"

Rudina: "I'm sorry, but (turning to me) can you help me?!"

So. Many. Feelings.  I looked at Dana, and she gave me that understanding look that customers give to staff members when they witness bad behavior from another customer and headed to the back of the store. I gave Rudina her emergency envelopes and ribbon, and my lovely co-worker swooped in and took over for me. 

I went over to check on Dana and her son.  We chatted about what happened as her son happily played on the floor. The conversation took twists and turns as we shared our experiences living in L.A. The good, the bad, and the self involved. We talked about our lives as moms who want more out of life. We've both seen success in our creativity, but both are feeling stagnant. We connected, and it was nice. But, I couldn't help but feel sad as we said goodbye. Her son gave out a couple of hugs and I held the door open for them and watched them as they continued on their way. 

The sadness stayed with me all night, I cried a little, drank a little, and slept a little. And at 430am I woke up with questions.  Do I want to live the rest of my life helping people? Am I helping the wrong people? Do I need help?  Seriously, it's time for a change. I need to answer some hard questions and I'm scared because I don't have all the answers and I'm almost 50.  Do you think Rudina laid in bed this morning asking herself the same questions? I doubt it, but I do have to thank her for pushing me to this point. I need a solid game plan for the next 50 years.

Thanks for reading,

Nik

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FOR YOU AND FOR ME

I had an interesting conversation with one of my sisters the other day. It was about the choices we make career wise. She sometimes feels an indirect pressure from comments made during casual  conversations. An unspoken judgement about her choice to stay in a job that has offered her years of security, travel and most importantly time to raise her family. Now I'm watching an episode of The Real and they are discussing "Complacency vs. Contentment". So here's a question for you.  Are you happy?

I'm very familiar with the feeling that my sister was expressing, thankfully that judgement comes from strangers, never family or friends. Instead of making a list of resolutions for 2019, I have another challenge for you. Make a list of things that make you happy. Truly happy. Then try and move towards making those things happen. It could be something that you do once a day, it could be something that takes 3 years to save for. Let's take some pressure off of ourselves. I have nothing against new year resolutions, this is probably the 3rd year of my life that I haven't made them. Last year I did, but this year I'm in a different place. 

Also, if you can achieve your happy within a work day, great! Sometimes this means leaving the building on your breaks to focus on something other than work. Over the holiday season, my co-workers and I danced, sang, and even did a few sun salutations to make it through the most stressful time of year! Try it, I promise you, it works. If you are not able to achieve any of your happy during a work day, then it may be time to have a bigger conversation with yourself. Here's a link to a great article if you think it's time for a career change, 7 signs you've outgrown your job.

I'm sharing my shortlist with you, I hope it helps you jumpstart your "happiness list"

1. Love
2. Walking
3. Creativity
4. Travel
5. Styling

Thanks for reading,
Nikki

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