TRIGGERED

I'm over people cancelling people and companies. We need to all have our own opinions on things. Don't let other people tell you how you should feel about something. If a topic interests you, do 10 minutes of investigating and I guarantee you, you'll find out more than you did from some strangers instagram post saying "Kanye is a racist, everybody hate him for the next week" 

Do I disagree with how swiftly Roseanne was cancelled, absolutely not. But, did I stop buying my favorite drink (albeit too expensive and packed with calories) from Starbucks? No! The folks at my local Starbucks make my family and I feel welcome, always. I have developed connections with the employees that have spilled outside the faux mahogany wooden walls where we meet 2-3 times a week. I think that we are so damaged and sensitive from being historically mistreated that it can blur our judgement on certain situations. Here's hoping I don't get cancelled for expressing my view.

In the last few years of my life, I have found myself slipping into a dangerous place of fingerpointing and judging. Me! The girl who in her teens made a promise to react to racism by educating every person that said something offensive out of ignorance not anger. The young woman who spent her twenties debating with family and friends about the goodness of people, constantly correcting everyone when they painted a whole race, gender, or political party with the same brush. Even in my 30's, I soldiered on, spreading flower petals over hate, giving second chances at every turn.  

Lately, I find myself looking for someone to make a mistake and say something to offend me. I'm asking my son questions about situations that in no way have anything to do with racism or hate. Making comments loud enough for people to know I'm "woke" but soft enough to squash the guilt I feel by not being true to myself. In my forties, I have too many years behind me to ignore the differences in us as people.  I am raising an African American male who needs to know the right way to handle situations that his friends will undoubtedly never have to deal with.  He will continue to face roadblocks and challenges, he will also laugh a lot and be surrounded by love and light. Yes, there are awful, hateful people in this world. Sadly, I can never watch another episode of The Cosby Show, but I can't promise you that I won't listen to Kanye's music ever again. Google the whole interview.

I owe it to my son to offer the balance that my parents gave me. Everyone has a story, listen before you judge. 

Also...I STILL LIKE H & M. Damn them for making affordable chic clothing. When are we allowed to shop there again?

Thanks for reading,

Nikki

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